Why you should stop comparing yourself to others
Want a high-octane, super-charged, 99.999% guaranteed way to make yourself feel bad? Want to take the fast track to feeling unhappy about yourself?
Compare yourself to others. Simple as that. Compare yourself to others’ success, to their abilities, to their looks, to their charm, to their ________.
It doesn’t matter what the subject is. You will always, Always, ALWAYS be able to find someone who is better than you.
Let’s be honest for a minute here. Let’s take off the mask most of us wear so we’ll look good out in the world and be a little authentic and vulnerable.
On some level, most of us feel like we don’t measure up. And one of the big reasons for that is because we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others.
Now, if we compared ourselves to the full picture, that would be one thing. But that’s not how we tend to do it. Instead, as I’ve heard it described before, we come out on the losing end because we compare our blooper reel with other people’s highlight reels.
Comparison isn’t an inherently destructive thing. It can actually be used as fuel for growth and achievement, if we use it right. But the kind most of us do – the kind that looks at other people, then at ourselves and says, “See? You suck!” – isn’t it.
Here are some questions to help you break out of that destructive comparison loop.
- Am I seeing the whole picture? (Think bloopers vs. highlights)
- OK, so they’re better than me (at _____). Why? What can I learn from that?
- How can I use them as a model to aspire to, rather than as proof that I’m not enough?
- What characteristics do they have that I can authentically emulate?
- OK, enough about them – what’s good about me?
That last one may actually be the most important of all. Because ultimately, your career, and your life, isn’t about anybody else. It’s about aspiring to be the best you possible.
And quite honestly, none of us are anywhere near the limits of our potential. We all of amazing amounts of possibility we can grow into.
What anybody else is able to do, or who or how they are has absolutely nothing to do with your potential. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Unless you’re using it as a positive source of growth, comparing yourself to other people is nothing but a distraction from the main event: Making the most of your own life!
So the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, ask yourself, “Is this really relevant? Does this really have anything to do with what I’m doing here? Or am I distracting myself from the main event?”
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Brought to you by Curt Rosengren, Passion Catalyst TM
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